Trouble in Paradise … Again

Very liberal sister in law shows up all stressed: “There’s a wood rat under my grill cover how can I get rid of it?”
Me: “Have you thought about picking up the grill cover and asking it to leave?”
She: “NO what are you, crazy, it’ll run up my pant leg”.
Me: “Okay I’ll come over and step on it.”
She:” Won’t that kill it?”
Me: “Well yeah, but you’ll be rid of it.”
She: “No, that will be so awful with its little body all crushed and everything.”
Now she looking around for someone more competent at killing rats painlessly. There’s no one but the two of us.
Me: “Okay how about if I come over and shoot it?”
She: “Nooooo.”
Me: “Well go pick up the cover and maybe it won’t run up your pantleg”
She: “You mean it might not?”
Me: “Is it a boy wood rat or girl wood rat.’
She: Wringing her hands now. “Does that make a difference?”
Me: “Well, if its a girl wood rat it won’t and if its boy wood rat it will. You can feel its scratchy little feet as it goes up”
She: spinning on her heel and heading for the door. “I’m calling the humane society, you Cretan!”
See, I lose again : )


About Cornhusk

Ex-High-School and Community College teacher. Also have a degree in Science and Applied Science. Have worked in ship construction and now supplement my retirement by writing and revising vocational textbooks.
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